GROWING UP PFEFFER:ONE SIBLING’S VIEW

My memoirs to my sons Bob & Dennis, my grandchildren Jodi and Jason and their children, the Pfeffer family, including nieces, nephews and their children. Especially to all my sisters and brothers and all their husbands and wives and children.

I will name only the first and second generations because I’ll run out of paper if I name all the children and their children etc.

When I was grown up and a grandmother, I realized how little I knew about my family history. I never knew my grandparents. They lived in Europe. I was the youngest; I was not privy to everything or I didn’t listen. I was too busy. Now I know how much I missed and I didn’t want my children and grandchildren to feel the same, especially when they had such a great heritage. I’ve written this history because I was so happy to be a Pfeffer and I want the world to know how close our family stayed till the bitter end. There are only two of the original Pfeffers left, Rose and me. But fortunately all of them left children and grandchildren. Not all of them are Pfeffers but what’s in a name?

A Pfeffer is not just a name, a Pfeffer has the Pfeffer qualities of sensitivity, kindness, warmth, feeling and caring of others.

I’m dedicating this factual (not perfect) history to the Pfeffer pfamily whether they like it or not. It’s written because I love them all, even their spouses, their children, their children’s children even the ones who are yet to come. This is also a remembrance of those in our family who have died:

Mama & Papa, Anna & Max, Shari & Hy, Lil & Harry,

Isie, Leo, Millie, Ettie & daughter Judy, Phil,

and my loving husband George. Here’s a poem Dennis wrote

about our last beautiful moments together as a family.

A LAST SWEET TREAT WITH DAD

Blessed were the stranger’s hands,

the caretaker or the custodian, the keeper

of the canteen and thus

the two magical ice cream machines

tucked away in the basement

of the V.A. hospital

where daddy’s heart was slowing to a halt.

Blessed were the stranger’s hands,

the hands that left the canteen door

unlatched, just an inch or so ajar,

and the vending machines within easy reach

for our late night mission

of ice cream mercy:

Those crude machines unleashed

more vital pain relief that night

than the river of morphine flowing

into Daddy’s swolen veins:

He inhaled that sweet treat like a kid

on the sneak before dinner,

that snowy night when death took a brief back seat

to a chocolate covered ice cream bar on a stick--

…A special note to my grandchildren Jodi Melissa and Jason Michael who encouraged me to write this so they could know our family history.

IN THE BEGINNING there was Papa and Mama, the two most essential people without whom there would not be any Pfeffer story: There was Papa Rabbi Alter Shaul Pfeffer and the woman he loved most, Mama, Hani nee Yaeger. Papa was born in Austria but he traveled to Hungary to study. He was a brilliant scholar. In an oral history recorded by one of my father’s rabbinical students, my papa’s genius was documented at a very young age . His father had him tested by the reknowned Rabbi Aryeh Leibish Horowitz, the revered Gaon who had been passing through town. According to the oral history "the Gaon was astonished over the lad’s depth of understanding and skill of his oversight" and when the test was over, the Gaon took him (Papa) in his arms with great love and hugged and kissed him on his great brow. To Papa’s father he turned and said, "you should be happy Rav Yisroel Elimelech, to have such a dear son such as this to shep nachas for there are very few as wise as he."

Papa became a noted and revered Rabbi. Mama and Papa were a pair that must have been made in heaven. Mama had nine children (5 in Europe and 4 more when Mama came to the U.S.) who lived to adulthood. I was told that she had 3 more children that died BMT (before my time) so I can’t swear to it’s authenticity. Now, I’ll name the rest of the characters in this story. Turn to page one if you dare. By this time you’re all mature and I’m sure you don’t remember or pretend you don’t. Have no fear, Dottie’s here to make certain that your memory loss will be short lived. You’re lucky I was too young to know everything but I promise to do my very best.

As I noted earlier, my father’s brilliance was recognized at a very early age. He became a noted and revered Rabbi in Europe where he was loved so much that they made him Rabbi of their local synagogue in Hungary where he had studied. After many devoted years and five children, he could not make enough there to support his children. As much as he hated to leave them, he decided with Mama’s OK (he always asked her OK) to go to the U.S. On his way to the boat, he stopped at his synagogue for his final prayers and other Rabbinical duties. After he did, he had second thoughts about going, so he asked Mama what he should do. Her answer was, "You’re going to America, Go to America" and he did, though he was very unhappy to leave his very much adored wife and children but he had to do what he had to do. It didn’t take too long for Papa to send for Mama and the children and that’s when our family (the greatest family in the U.S.A.) I may be prejudiced, but those of you who doubt that the Pfeffers were the greatest are without doubt traitors.

I was born in New York City to the most wonderful parents in the world and here’s where this epic begins. My father Rabbi Alter Shaul Pfeffer was famous and he had laughing eyes and treated all his children with kid gloves. He was gentle, sensitive and kind to everyone and everybody loved him in return. My mother, Hani Pfeffer nee Yaeger was sweet, softspoken, loving, tender, and sensitive.

Born in Europe:

First Anna Schay nee Pfeffer – mother of Eleanor (Eileen) & Joanie

Second Shari Rosen nee Pfeffer – mother of Arthur & Richard

Third Lillian Schaffer nee Pfeffer – mother of (Ellen nee Linda)

Fourth Isidore Pfeffer - 3 children – Arthur, Richard & David

Fifth Leo Pfeffer - father of Alan & Susan

Born in the USA:

Sixth Rose Shilepsky nee Pfeffer – mother of Skip, Sandy & Nancy

Seventh Mildred Pfeffer - who was always there for all of us

Eighth Estelle Ribowsky nee Pfeffer – mother of Judy & Frances

Ninth Dorothy Bernstein nee last of the Pfeffers & mother of Robert & Dennis

Mom was always (as far back as I can remember) very ill with high blood pressure. She was not allowed out of bed, but her mind was very much intact. My memory isn’t good, but I do remember her telling me the saying, "sticks and stones may break your bones but names will never harm you": but that isn’t true. She went on to say "though it’s true sticks and stones will hurt, bruise, make you black and blue, those pains all will fade with time. But words will hurt you deeply and can never be erased or forgotten. The pain is felt, deep down in your heart where the bruises don’t show." Mom, though she didn’t speak much English, was a very wise and smart lady. Mama also was very secretive. When she wanted to speak privately she spoke to Anna in Hungarian so the children couldn’t understand. Mama was an invalid and couldn’t go places to enjoy herself so she learned to play Bridge. She played with Anna, Shari, Lil and Millie. I was too young at that time. But when I got older, I was about 16, I was watching them play and one of them had to leave, I was told to sit down and play. My sisters who always ordered me to do something said "it’s time you (I) learned to play." Being a good scared kid, I sat down. That was my introduction to Bridge and I do play now. I must mention that since our family was always watched because a Rabbi’s family had to be beyond reproach. We never knew who set those rules but we lived by them. We never played for money, we only played so Mama could enjoy herself a little but we made sure the shades were down before we started. Which brings me back to Papa, me and privacy. One day when I was about 15 years old, I decided to take a walk to my friend’s house. She lived at least a mile away. While I was there, her mom told her to go to the delicatessen, which was not kosher but kosher style. When I came home later my father called me into his office, because this had to do with religious privacy. Someone had called him to tell him that I had gone into Katz’s Delicatessen.

He knew I had done nothing wrong and he trusted me, and he was right to do that. I explained that I did not eat anything nor did I buy anything, and I didn’t know that I was not allowed to walk into a store. He didn’t scold me, he just said in a quiet voice "don’t do that anymore". All my very young friends always wanted to come into our house because Papa always gave them a penny. Believe it or not, a penny really was spendable cash in those years. That was long ago and those were happy years.

Anna was the oldest of nine children. She had to take over all the duties. She was like a second mother and she was good at it. She was the best cook and baker and she was able to manage all of us. Unfortunately she had to leave school at a very early age but that didn’t stop her. She was so smart that she taught herself. She could do crossword puzzles, cryptoquotes and she could debate any topic with anyone.

Shari was next in line. She had her troubles too. When I was very young, she was the only one that I would go to when I cried. She was good at handling the children as she grew older too. She became a teacher and managed to keep control of all the kids with just looking at them. Her children were smart and good, but so were all the children of all the Pfeffers.

Lil was third in line. She also became a teacher and though she didn’t care for teaching she had (stick-to-it-ive-ness) in other words, she stuck to it and kept her job till she retired. She, like Shari, wrote all the plays for the school, which her students performed in the assembly.

Then came Izzy, the older of two brothers. Since Iz was older, he told Leo what to do (for awhile) Izzy was a teacher also and a principal of a Hebrew school. He and his family lived in Troy for a while so we didn’t get to see him much but that didn’t matter cause absence makes the heart grow fonder.

Leo as I mentioned before, was our younger brother. He was more serious but we cared for him just as much. He was a lawyer, not a criminal lawyer, he was too ethical for that. His interest was in religious liberty and church and state. He wrote many books that were published including: Church, State and Freedom; The Liberties of an American; This Honorable Court; Religion and the State ; and others, some of which are in the supreme court library.

Leo was honored at L.I. University

Then there’s Rose who, also, was a teacher. She taught uneducable children. She was dedicated to that. Rose had problems. She had dark hair, a tannish complexion and the rest of us had fair skin and light hair. This caused problems which we all had, but everyone had a different one. Rose was teased by someone in the family (I won’t mention her name but she had 2 sons, initialed A. and R.) who told Rose that our mother bought her from the gypsies. It bothered her for a long time. Fact is, I don’t think she ever got over it. But she wasn’t perfect either and you’ll hear about that later.

Millie was the quiet one who gave that impression to strangers, but that wasn’t Millie as we knew her. She was witty, clever and argumentative when the time was right. She was very generous and gave of herself. Whoever needed help with money, favors and even baby sitting for her family, she was always there.

Ettie was next to the last member of our family. She was clever, witty and cheerful but she was, just like the rest of the Pfeffers (excluding Papa and Mama) not perfect.

Now for the last of the Pfeffer clan. That’s me, Dottie, and you wouldn’t expect me to say anything bad about her so I’ll say nothing except I’m close to perfect and if you don’t believe it… who cares.

Now I’ll start telling tales about you all, since you already heard all the good things. I’ll try to take them in order. Since I don’t know much about my older siblings, I cannot say much but I’ll tell all I know.

Anna Schay was smart, kind, loving, considerate and she knew everything, except the secret I never had the nerve to tell her. I’ll talk about that later in this saga. When Bob was born, he had colic and cried constantly except when we stayed downtown with the family. Anna knew how to relieve the gas that caused him pain. She would lay him down on his back, she would lift his two legs, raise them up to his stomach and down a number of times and he stopped crying. That relieved the gas.

I don’t remember this next story but I heard about it often. When I was just a baby the only person I would go to was Sarah (Shari) I don’t know the reason but at this point, I guess it doesn’t matter. When I was a kid and Lil was already of dating age she would send me to the cleaners to pick up her fancy dress and if I said no, she pulled my hair so I went. I didn’t think I’d look good bald. I was younger than she was but as I grew older, our ages didn’t matter and we became good friends. We played bridge, bingo and visited each other often. When we put a swimming pool in the back yard, she Harry and Ellen would come to swim. Lil and I watched while they swam.

Izzy was just like the rest of the Pfeffer’s. He was kind, thoughtful, and nice to everyone. He had a good sense of humor. He used to sing his own version of Toreador to the melody of Toreador. It went like this. Toreador, don’t spit on the floor, /Spit in the cuspidor /That’s what it’s for/ etc. but I don’t remember the rest. I wish I did. We didn’t see much of Iz because he lived in Troy.

Leo, also with the Pfeffer charm, intelligence and wit, was a good sport. Anna, Ettie, Millie and others would challenge him to a debate and he was a good sport when he lost. He wrote many books on law, he was a maven on religious law. He also had a sense of humor. On Saturdays we couldn’t write, drive or handle money so we played games like Yahtzee and charades which reminds me of the charade that Leo acted out and we had to guess. He touched his stomach, then your stomach and back again a few times. Then we had to guess and none of us could…the answer was Prince Match a Belly (perfume). *Prince not acted out.

On Saturdays, since we were Sabbath observers we had to wait for sundown before we could among other things, take a shower. One of those Saturdays both Rose and Ettie had a date and they both sat near the bathroom, each one waiting to get in first. Rose made it and Ettie had to wait. Rose made a mistake. She left her nylons where Ettie could get them. Needless to say, she did. One of the stockings had a small run on top, which could be stopped with colorless nail polish. Ettie got her revenge by making mesh of them. She pulled on the stocking until the result was achieved. Another time Rose had a date with a guy whose name was Harry Smoler. Millie was the first one to see him when he came so she yelled up to Rose "Rose, Harry’s nose is smoller is here!" We all knew that Harry’d had a nose operation.

I didn’t get away from Rose without my share but I didn’t cause it. She was the guilty one. She (Rose) was going for a walk with her school friends and I wanted to go along. Mama made her take me, Rose got even. They (Rose and friends) were talking about colleges they would like to attend. Rose said she wanted to go to Cornell and I said I want to go too and she took me without hesitation. She took me to the end of the block and pointed down and said, "this is the corner and down there is HELL. So go already." She took care of Ettie, Millie and me but she wasn’t finished yet. Rose got on the second avenue bus and looked for a seat. She found one in the back of the bus. It was a long bench and only one man was sitting there reading. That was great, she’d have some fun. So she sat down very close to the man so he moved away. Again she sat closer to him. He was embarrassed and there was no place left for him to move to. So, he decided he had to find out what was going on. He turned and with a sigh of relief, said "Oh, Rosie its you" and both enjoyed her game (at least it appeared that Papa did.)

Millie (Mildred) was quiet soft spoken and generous in every way, not only with money but in any way any of us needed help. She was always there for us. She was an avid reader and traveled to every library for books that she had not read. She loved reading and would read no matter how bad her eyes got and she wasn’t perfect either. That’s why we got along so well. We looked alike, we liked the same kind of things and spent a lot of time together. We both loved going to the movies and would go to any lengths to go. I remember the time that we wanted to go but we were 25cents short. Millie asked Ettie to lend us a quarter. Ettie responded, "for a quarter I’ll spit in your eye". Millie said, "go ahead". Ettie, putting her lips together said poo, pretending to spit and Millie said, "ok now give me the quarter". Ettie put up a good argument but in the end she paid up. We used to go to Rockaway beach for the summer because it was good for Mama’s health. We wanted to go back to the city for a few days so Mama let us go because she trusted Millie. We had a great time. We’d go to the movies in the afternoon, after the movies (double feature) we’d have a bite to eat. Then we’d go to another movie (double feature) but we had a good excuse. The movies were air-conditioned and it was very hot outside. Millie wrote poetry like the rest of the Pfeffers but we never knew about it until she died. We found it among her belongings. She was clever as you will note when you read some of her work.

Ettie was always good company. Besides having all the Pfeffer qualities and faults (not many). She was the life of every party because she had a wonderful sense of humor. Listen to what Ettie did. I was going out with a guy and my friends were going out with the fellow’s friends. One day the guys, knowing I had a sister Millie that looked like me, tried to fix her up with a friend who came back to their group. They said he would call her and ask for a date. When he called we were playing bridge, Mama, Anna, Millie and me. When I told Millie about it she refused to answer the phone. Ettie was watching us and when Millie wouldn’t answer the phone, Ettie did. She made a date with him and went out with our crowd. Only 2 of the couples got married and Ettie was one. She married Mac and they had many happy anniversaries together.

And there was me, the last of nine. I heard there were 3 more children before they came to the U.S. but I wasn’t there. I was teased by all the others before me. They called me beautiful, but dumb. It upset me even though they were right. Compared to them I was dumb. After some time, I began to strike back and I used their remark to get even. Not that I was beautiful but I said they were right, the reason I was dumb was that Mama had at least 8 before me. Since they got the brains there were none left for me. On the other hand, they shared all the brains but I got all the beauty. That’s how I got my revenge.

I was going out with a fellow who was very fond of me. I knew I could not feel the same way for him. He was very sensitive and I was too soft hearted and couldn’t tell him and hurt his feelings. I knew I had to do it soon because the Christmas holiday was coming and I knew he would buy me a very expensive gift which I could not accept. Ettie knew how I felt so she found a way to help me break up with him. She wrote this poem below.

I think my lover’s handsome,

He may not appeal to you,

For he suffers from strabismus

And he lacks a tooth or two.

His left leg is artificial,

He wears the loveliest toupee

And his nose is slightly crooked,

But I love him anyway.

And that cured me, but it wasn’t easy. Later I met George the love of my life, handsome as he was brave.

On February 8, 1945, the day of George's and my wedding, the weather couldn't be worse, It snowed, it hailed and it rained cats and dogs. The only thing we didn't see was sunshine. Actually we intended to get married on Sunday so we planned to get our license and blood tests on Thursday. We had to go to city hall and get an ok to get married without waiting the required time. George had a short furlough and we didn't want to waste it. That was our plan. But it didn't work that way.

On Wednesday, Millie called me at work and told me that I was getting married on Thursday because Max, who was to perform the ceremony had to go out of town on business and we would have no time for a honeymoon if we waited. So I had to do all the preparations on Thursday. I set my hair Wednesday night but by the time I went to get the paperwork, blood tests, etc my hair was all wet and I looked like a drowned cat. On the way home from city hall, George stopped at least four beauty parlors to see if someone would set my hair. He finally found one but time was fleeting. When we were going home we had to pick up bakery goods, the delicatessen, etc. from downtown. We finally got a taxi that would do all that and then drive us to Shari 's house in Jackson Heights where we were to be married. Well, when we finally arrived, there we were almost three hours late. Poor Shari had to entertain the guests all that time. The wedding finally happened but it was very late and we had a suite waiting at the Belmont plaza. When we called them they said they could only hold it for a short time. So we left Shari with the guests and we took the taxi (more like a plane) because we really had to fly to get there on time. Well, we got the license, the food, the taxi and WE GOT MARRIED, got our suite and lived through it.

All's well that ends well, but who would believe it!!

Now I’ll tell you the secret I kept from Anna. When I was ten years old Anna asked me to take care of Eileen who was almost two. I took her to the beach and she was happy. I was playing a game of standing up and aiming ice cream sticks into the neck of a milk bottle. The person who won, got the sticks. I lost, so I had to go looking for more sticks. I told my friends to watch Eileen. When I returned Eileen was gone. My friends said her mother came to take her home. I was very skeptical and asked them to describe her and I knew that it wasn’t Anna. I was frantic, Eileen was KIDNAPPED. I went looking for her up one street, down another crying and calling her name, Eileen! Eileen!

On the third or fourth street a man asked me what was wrong. When I told him, He asked if Eileen was a chubby blond curly headed, fair skinned child and I cried, did you see her? He said he knew where she was and he’d get her. I said I’ll get her, but he said the lady was strange. She wanted a baby and she just takes them and she would not let me take her back.. When he went into her house I heard screaming. A few minutes later he came out carrying Eileen. I thanked him and I was so relieved, I didn’t know what I was going to tell her mother if I came home without her. I kept the whole thing a secret. She never heard about it. Nobody did until I told Eileen the story, but not till she herself had grandchildren. Now everyone will know.

My sister Millie was a very light sleeper. She’d wake up at the slightest sound. When I had a cold I was afraid to sleep in her room because I didn’t want to keep her up all night when I coughed or sneezed. One night things changed. When we went to sleep we left the window open because it was a warm night. During the night there was a mini hurricane and there was thunder and lightening, I assume. I don’t know what went on, I was in a tight sleep. The rain came in our window and Millie was awake. She was so annoyed that I could sleep through getting soaked, even the noise didn’t wake me. She lay there and watched. She wanted to see how long I could sleep through that. When she couldn’t take it any longer, and being a kind sister finally woke me up. My bed was soaked and didn’t dry for many days, but I was fine.

After George and I were married, we lived in Manhattan Beach in a converted army barracks. It was a beautiful area and we were near the beach. Lil came to visit us with (Linda) Ellen, Harry, and their dog Ginger. Suddenly, all hell broke loose. Ginger was running, Dennis followed, I was trying to catch Dennis and Lil, Ellen and whoever else was there, following behind us. When Dennis caught Ginger he bit her. When I asked him why, he said, "she bit me first". I guess he was too young to know that dog bites man but not the reverse. Maybe he didn’t feel that since he was just a (man) child he was allowed to get even so he bit her back. Poor Ginger, was such a gentle dog, we never were quite sure she bit him at all. Dennis wouldn’t talk and Ginger was no tattle tail and Dennis felt, he had the name, (Dennis the Menace) so he’d play the game. It was all my fault. I named him that D-T-M. Shari, nee Sarah told me once that she knew I needed a break but she was afraid she couldn’t handle him. Dennis, being an offspring of a Pfeffer, he was not perfect either. Actually, when it comes to perfection we were as perfect as any living mortal could be. To prove Shari had good reason for refusing to babysit my little menace here is a poem:

My D-E-N-N-I-S

Were you to search from here to Venice

You couldn’t find just such a menace

As my child, from birth called Dennis

Compared to him yours is a mere apprentice.

My little dear will soon be three

The birth of your cartoon soon followed me,

Since then our family and friends are agreed

That I send my child’s pranks for you to read.

To give you an idea of my son’s crime

We caught him once, in the nick of time

Just as he was giving our kitten a rush

Down the toilet, he was about to F L U S H.

Then when I put him to bed

Up from the street he was led

And I was innocent and hadn’t known

That he’d up and left our happy home.

Then one day at my sister’s house

He was as quiet as a mouse

He dressed up, and so he played,

On his shoulder --- her bag, on his head --- her shade.

My sister came with her little pup,

Dennis walked her down and up,

Things were going quite all right

Till Ginger gave Dennis a little bite.

Then poor Dennis started grieven;

He wouldn’t quit till he was even.

He claimed the dog had bit him first,

He’d bite him back or else he’d burst.

Now that you’ve heard of my little dear,

Does yours compare to my bundle of cheer?

While you, of course, are making money,

I don’t think it’s very funny.

‘Cause when I put my darling to bed,

Does he stay where he rests his head,

Most children are, at least good when they sleep,

Mine must always, under the bed creep.

Although to me it is a crime,

He does better all the time.

And if you’re short when you write your serial,

Just look us up, for new material.

When I started this history of my (our) family, I expected to write in a chronological order. Unfortunately it didn’t turn out that way. I guess I’m just not organized. Be that as it may, my apologies made, I’ll go on.

Papa being a Rabbi, well known, who officiated at weddings and arranged divorces (called ‘gets’ in yiddish) at our house. We had a private house in Manhattan in which we occupied the ground floor and the first floor. The rooms were very, very large so it could hold a good many people. We stayed on the first floor during the weddings and we dressed nicely because the guests would also use the area, and they did. I went to a lot of weddings. They were fun but we always had to be well behaved and were told not to intermingle unless approached by the guests. But we did say mazel tov! when the groom stepped on the glass because that meant they had become Bride and Groom. They ate and danced, had wine (before the groom broke the glass) it was part of the ceremony, and everybody was kissing and laughing because it was a HAPPY OCCASION.

Then when there was a divorce it was not a happy time. My father sat at our large dining room table with other Rabbis and witnesses for the couple being divorced. There was some humor in this particular case. A woman who came to get a divorce, came with her husband and her new boyfriend who she supposedly loved. Who knows? But the two men started fighting in the house. They were told to take their fight outside. They continued fighting outside. The woman, who was watching them tried to stop them by pretending to faint. Leo was just coming from the candy store with a pitcher of soda which I thought was egg cream but that’s not the important point. We all yelled, "she fainted, do something!" so Leo poured the whole pitcher of soda on her and she revived. I don’t know the outcome of the divorce because papa was still trying to reconcile them.

Another time, Leo was left home to watch his younger siblings who wanted lunch, Leo bought rolls and Hershey’s chocolate bars and made us sandwiches and we enjoyed the meal. It was not exactly what Mama would have chosen. But Leo was really good. When papa died, Leo was just getting on his feet but he bought us a refrigerator and other things to help the family.

Izzy was a good son too. He didn’t have much money but he was shrewd. When he and Leo wanted to go to the movies, Iz convinced Leo to ask for the movie money. They were just kids at the time but since Leo was the younger one, Iz felt he could get the cash easier. I guess it worked cause Iz kept doing it.

Hey, I almost forgot about Shari. When we all got older and up in years Shari would send me to bring refreshments for all of us. Whenever there was a wedding, bar mitzvah, or any kind of party, I was elected because I was the youngest. I did that for many years. When I was 65 years old, she sent me for the goodies again. This time I complained. I said, "I’m also a senior citizen" and she said, "that’s too bad, I’m still older than you". She was right so I gave up, I knew I couldn’t win so I kept on being the gopher (go fer the food).

Leo was not in the military, not because he didn’t try. It’s a long story but a good one. Leo received a notice to come for his examination for induction. It was a Saturday, but he knew he had to go. He walked uptown, crosstown, every way. When he arrived he was tired. The exam began. First they checked his eyes. They were very bad so Limited Service. Then they checked his heart. That was bad too so he couldn’t have Active Service so he was marked for Limited Service. They checked his liver. That too, was bad so he could still be in Limited Service, then came the killer test, his feet and the examiner said he had flat feet so he was rejected! Not fit for service.

We celebrated many holidays like Passover, when the whole family sat at the Seder table and Papa told us the story of Passover when the Jews were persecuted by the Egyptians and had to flee. They had no time to bake bread so they mixed flour and water, put it on a tray on their heads and the sun baked them. There was not yeast in the mixture so it stayed flat. That’s the reason Matzos were flat and we ate them on Passover. But there came a time when Passover was not a happy holiday anymore because Papa died during Passover. As if that wasn’t enough, we were worried about Mama who was also very sick. She loved Papa and we were worried about how his illness and subsequent death would effect her health. But there were many other Jewish holidays that we did celebrate together. There was Purim when the kids, me too would go to people (mainly our own families) and we’d recite this poem in Yiddish, but I’ll translate it. It went like this "Today is Purim, tomorrow is not. Give me a penny and throw me out". Then there was Sukkoth. That was an unusual holiday. We had a hut in the back yard where we would eat during this holiday after we decorated it. We put straw on the floor, hung balloons and other decorations, lights on the ceiling and we ate in the Succah. It was a joyous holiday because the wandering Jews had found a shelter. It’s a fact, the Jews were always on the run.

Rosh Hashanna was the beginning of a new year, the tenth day was Yom Kippur which was the last day. Yom Kippur was not a happy day. Yom Kippur was a day of mourning, fasting and praying. Most Jewish people, even the non-religious people fasted from sundown on the eve of Yom Kippur (the 9^th night) till sundown on Yom Kippur the next night. That night we ate like it was our last meal but our stomachs got full very fast.

Chanukah was a happy holiday when the children got Chanukah gelt and the adults brought cakes and latkes and talked for hours. Chanukah lasts for 8 days. The reason was that when the Jews won their fight with the Syrians, they entered the temple and wanted to purify it. They found only one container of oil enough for only one night, but through some miracle the oil burned for eight days. So the first Rosh Hashanna Eve we light the Shamos candle (the master candle) and the first night and the second night we first light the Shamos candle and use it to light candles for the second night and every day after we light the first and second and every night till the last night of Chanukah.

When Papa died his body was carried into the synagogue in which he presided. There were policemen on horseback on the same street that we lived and where the synagogue was. They were there to make sure everything went smoothly. There were many people who came to see Papa, most of them we didn’t know. There were also some dignitaries there. There were two policemen stationed on the steps of the synagogue to see that no more people would go in since there wasn’t even standing room left. There was a woman begging the officer to let her go in. She wouldn’t take no for an answer. Finally he weakened and let her go in. She bent down and it looked like she was kissing his feet or maybe she was bowing when she thanked him. Then there was another lady who I didn’t see, but a friend of mine was her neighbor and she told me that the lady came home with swollen red eyes and a bruise on her forehead that she didn’t even know how she had gotten. She told my friend she had gone to my father’s funeral and she was very sad. As I stated before, he was loved by all who knew him. Rabbi Greenwald, in his oral history of Papa, recorded his passing this way, "When the news spread of his passing, there was much weeping and many gathered near his home to find out what had happened… all who heard the news were greatly saddened and keenly felt the loss. On Sunday, the sixth day Pesach, he was buried amid great crying and sorrow… thousands of people followed the funeral procession crying over the great loss to the House of Israel". My son Dennis a poet in his own right wrote this memory of his grandfather’s funeral even though he had never met him.

GRANDFATHER’S FUNERAL

They came from all parts of a Jewish city,

They came from the country in cars;

A flood, a rush of blood to the Jewish heart.

They came to touch his tallith, to follow

His steps into Schul, gathered to wish

this friend of G-D, good rest.

We were taught by our parents to be kind, thoughtful, considerate and loving. We learned well because we had wonderful teachers.

We also learned to respect each other and stick together and we did. Only death could tear us apart. Though this is the end of our story …. We hope that through our children and grandchildren , the Pfeffer Family will live on!

I’m sure there are stories that I have left out / You too will get older – of this there’s no doubt. / So REMEMBER – some day, my troubles you’ll share / There’ll be no complaining / You wouldn’t DARE!!